Family Systems Work
Since 2002, Family Systems Work has been a very important part of what I do. This work uncovers the love that underlies unwanted behaviors or feelings are are often rooted in loyalty to our families. Sometimes it involves taking on burdens and problems that really belong to someone else in a child like attempt to help. Sometimes we take on unwanted behaviors so we can be connected when love seems impossible. It is important to feel the present emotions that are a product of difficult events in our lives while not being a victim of the story. Transformation happens when we become aware that love underlies even the most questionable behaviors and events.
Prior generations pass down to us, not only physical characteristics, but also emotional and energetic patterns. Physical illness, depression, anger, anxiety, loneliness, or addiction may be evidence that we are carrying forward a feeling or pattern that is not ours alone. Often, out of blind love, we try to help our family by carrying the burden or suffering of someone who is part of our family system. The very behaviors and events that have been judged, hidden or forgotten are reenacted in an attempt to make the family whole.
Negative thoughts, feelings and behaviors can be traced to events that, due to pain, shame or guilt, have been hidden from our awareness. Very often these events occurred before we were born. Sometimes they are not even known. We store them in our bodies at a cellular and energetic level. Physical and emotional symptoms are evidence that something is hidden that needs to be revealed, embraced and released.
There is no blame or judgment in this work. What is revealed is respected and honored. Through this work we have a profound affect on our children and ancestors. The relief is felt, not just by the client, but reaches forward and backward in time.
Family systems work reveals the deep inner connection to our families. These connections are at the root of unexplainable feelings and behaviors. We see the patterns that have been handed from generation to generation. We know what we thought was ours alone, really belongs to someone who came before us. The one truth most often revealed is that love underlies, even the most difficult, feelings and behaviors. Once the love is seen and acknowledged we are freed.
When we work together we open a window to expanded awareness. We sense, see and communicate with ancestors and relatives, both those who have passed and those who are alive. It becomes clear no one is limited by time and space. We are all unique, unlimited, energetic beings that are connected by the unseen. These unseen connections include DNA, events, emotions and more. Through these connections we influence each other, regardless of where we are or the time we live in. When this influence is unconscious it is often painful or confusing. When it becomes conscious the connections are experienced as love and gratitude.
The work may be done effectively individually or in a group. When the work is done in a group we set up a constellation using representatives.This is how it is done:
We open our hearts, minds, bodies and spirits. We become aware of how the truth is held in the present moment.
The facilitator chooses a participant to work on a particular issue. A short interview determines which family members are relavent to the matter. Members of the group are chosen to represent the family members that are most important. The representatives are placed physically in the room in relationship to one another. When placed with conscious intent the representatives invariably have feelings and inclinations that belong to the person they represent. This happens even when they do not have information about the person they are chosen to be. Clients are often shocked and relieved at the accuracy with which family members and their relationships are represented. An image of the family dynamic that is at work is revealed. This provides information about the compelling, yet hidden, influences that underlie the issue. Through healing statements and movements a new image evolves that brings strength and peace to the family. This can bring closure to patterns that have repeated for generations.