Benefits of Individual Work
We are moving toward wholeness, to accepting all of who we are, as we are, without making any of it wrong.
Your Life Story
It is wonderful to have someone listen to our story. We all need to be witnessed, to be heard, seen and felt. There is benefit in expressing our journey from beginning to end. We can find meaning in events that felt hurtful or unfair at the time they occurred. Events and relationships that once appeared random or like “failures” can be seen in a new light. They can be seen as a necessary thread in the fabric of your life and purpose.
Group work does not provide the time and space for the telling of the whole story.
Shame and Guilt
It is human to have shame or to blame ourselves for things that have happened. We may also feel shame for not manifesting our dreams. The fear that we will not be loved if someone knew what we did or failed to do, or what was done to us, causes us to keep parts of ourselves hidden. Shame grows in the darkness of the hidden places. One of the benefits of individual sessions is that it is easier to feel safe with a single person. You must feel safe to reveal what you may have hidden for years. For some people the reveal is far easier in a one to one session. What is wonderful is that when the secrets, that have caused you to feel guilty or ashamed are brought to light, the shame is diminished by the light.
Trauma and Neglect
Almost all of us suffer from childhood trauma or neglect. You do not have to be beaten, or sexually abused to suffer trauma. Neglect does not require you be locked in a room. The loss of a loved pet is traumatic. The memory of a parent yelling at you or demeaning you is traumatic. Being bullied in school is traumatic. The pain of loneliness or feeling isolated is more common than most other types of trauma. These feelings are rooted in childhood where parents were unable to connect with us in a healthy way. The feelings associated with trauma and isolation are also inherited.
All of these events are part of us. If they remain undigested, because they are too hurtful to feel, we are not complete. They remain encapsulated in our physical bodies as physical pain, often causing undiagnosable illness, or symptoms we are told have no cause. They remain stored in our right brain. When they are integrated as part of our life story the left brain comes into play. Reactions to events that used to trigger the old feelings of fear and isolation lose the intensity they once had. Dan Siegel is a neuroscientist who explains the neural activity involved in detail, look for a link to his work on the connections page.
We need help to discover the parts of ourselves we have rejected. It takes an inquisitive mind and detective work to discover the places that are unincorporated. The best place to begin the search is the present moment, with the feelings that arise when we take the time to be still. The trail needs to be followed back to where the pattern began. Trauma and isolation are almost always repetitive. The same type hurt happens over and over. The original events need to be uncovered, they need to be seen and felt and given their place in the story of our lives and our bodies. That can only happen when we feel safe. It helps to have a witness, someone that can really listen and be present.
Individual work allows the space and safety needed to find the hidden parts that need to be loved and accepted so we can become whole.